I had my Q3 eval today with my company-given coach. It wasn’t well. The issues I were focusing on improving needed more improvement and there were issues I neglected due to being so hyper focused on the other handful of situations. After each talk with...

I want to kill myself. Not out of self-hatred, but out of exhaustion. I’m too slow at work. I don’t “get” things as quickly as I want to. My skills are lacking. Maybe if I paid attention better in school then my retention rates would be higher. I’m so ...

I think…this is the end of my diary. Life is moving quicker than I can type. So many things I want to put on paper, but there’s never any time. I hate not sticking to my schedule and feeling like I’m leaving my diary high and dry. As of typing this (Oc...

I don’t feel angry anymore. I used to be so mad at Smartie, Baby, and Boss Man, and up until very recently too. At that last post I made about them maybe 2 or 3 months ago, I was fuming. I wished hell on them. But now, I just can’t care. Now listen, no...

Late evening Sunday around 5:45pm, my sister hits me up. Her boyfriend is feeling sick and she has extra tickets to a rave. She proposed that either I can find a friend that wants to go watch the show too, or she could go with me. In the beginning of m...

The olden days are so glamorized. I guess people forget about all the head chopping and those cruel and unusual punishments. People remember the pretty dresses and whimsical Victorian speech. I am People. I went to my first renaissance faire! Technical...

Remember that guy from like 2 weeks ago? Yea it’s not gonna work. Womp womp. He’s too good for me, as in he’s a genuine saint, whereas I have been described as a spawn of Satan. He’s SOO religious. I’m an atheist. Keeping himself pure till marriage. I’...

(hello this is a VERY short post, this whole week was busy and I developed food poisoning AGAIN yesterday, so my schedule is a bit out of wack. i don't want to keep delaying my uploading schedule, so please enjoy this for now) Nowadays, living at the ow...

On Monday, I’m happy to see his face. Even if it’s just through a Zoom meeting, it makes me happier knowing I can full gaze and gawk and go unnoticed by everyone else. Sometimes during the meetings, he’d start to go on his phone thinking no one would n...

So…I was going to move into Evelyn’s house in the beginning of October. I had checked out the room prior and it was HUGE. I made it to her clear that I won’t be available until October 2, since my new job had just started and I’m still adjusting. She o...