Zoos Are Fucking Stupid (and so are gardens, museums, and aquariums)

Do you know what is the purpose of a zoo? To take all of the world’s animals and put them all in one place. So technically, if you’ve been to one zoo, you’ve been to them all. That brown bear you see in New York’s Central Park Zoo, will look exactly the same in a zoo in fucking Australia. Not to mention the humid ecosystems mixed with the musty smells. Fucking abysmal. You can’t even touch the animals and can only see them through a reinforced laminated glass cage. You know where else you can do that? BEHIND YOUR LAPTOP SCREEN. If it’s going to be like that, we might as well just search up photos and videos of animals, and get the same experience for $60 cheaper.

Aquariums are nicer than zoos in my opinion, but equally stupid. The ambience and dark lighting is nice but that’s about it. There’s only so many times you can walk around the building saying, “Oh that fish is cute. Oh that fish is cute too. Oh that fish is really cute.” And guess what? All again, IT’S BEHIND LAMINATED GLASS. Looking at the octopuses are cool, but again, all that can be experienced just the same as searching up videos in your comfy house.

Do you want to know what else is dumb? GARDENS! All a garden is, is just pretty flowers bunched up in an area. Unlike animals that can move and react, flowers are just…there. Yea they’re pretty, but that’s it. They don’t even let you pick the flowers (unless for a cost). All you can do is just look at it. You know what else you can do? LOOK AT IT FROM YOUR LAPTOP. It’s the exact same thing, and some of the ones photographed, may even be prettier than the one’s at the garden.

Lastly, museums. It’s all the same shtick again. Bro, just look at it through your laptop screen and save yourself the money. Most of the time, at museums, they don’t let you touch anything anyways. It’s just paintings hung up or sculptures with a “Do not touch” sign. It’s more walking around looking at pretty stuff from afar before you get a sensory overload and get sick of it.

Aren’t I such an optimistic bitch?

TLDR: The modern age of technology is upon us. Use it.