Yes, Let’s Get High for the First Time AND Go Through a Corn Maze At the Same Time! Cause that’s a great fucking idea

I just went to a corn maze for the second time in my life. I went with some other club members to fill out our “social” requirement. On the ride there, Treasurer asked me to split a weed gummy with her. This would be my first time ever actually getting high. The event was supposed to last about 4 hours, so I decided I’d have a lot of time to ride out the high and be sober enough to drive back home. We each took half a gummy.

How long does it take to kick in? She said half a gummy is enough for her but looking back, she’s short and small, while I’m tall and horizontally challenged. Maybe it’s just a placebo but I started laughing? Not too much though. We got to the location shortly soon after and immediately set off into the maze. The corn was about 10-15 tall and the maze is fucking huge. Literally. A few years ago, it held the title of ‘the worlds largest corn maze’. That being said, when you stepped foot into the maze, the temperature inside was vastly colder than the temperature outside. Since there was so much corn that was so tall, and the frequent watering of crops, the dirt below was cold and wet. The sun never had a chance to dry it up since it would get covered by all the corn’s shadows. When I embarked on this journey, I don’t think I was high yet.

I was in a group of 3 and was leading for maybe the first five minutes? And then, my sense of direction got totally knotted even with the map in my hands. Treasurer then took the lead. She was super energized, and would run around, looking for the right path. Odd, because I thought weed was supposed to make you tired? I asked her about his later, and she said she felt so claustrophobic between the walls of corn that she just wanted to speed run the maze to get out of there as fast as possible. Anyways, after a few dead-ends, we got to the first landmark. It was just a piece of land that was carved out of the corn in the shape of a huge plane. I wasn’t really interested on all the sightseeing stuff. And just wanted to get on with it. While we were there, we ran into another group that was in the same club as us. Through the power of teamwork, we decided it would be smarter to move as a whole group. This time, a different guy took the lead, I’ve never seen him before but he was really good at reading the map.

We sped off and hit the next 2 landmarks really quickly. I say “quickly” but it still took us maybe 45 minutes for those first 3. After the third landmark, the sun started going down and it became difficult to see where we were going. The floor was already covered in broken corn branches that were easy to trip over, but the ground itself was also extremely uneven. Once the sun was completely down, the temperature got colder and there were no light posts set up around the maze. Everyone had to pull their phones out to illuminate the way. If the people in the front saw a raw broken corn branch sticking out, they’d call out to the people in the back to be careful, so no one would have their clothes snagged by the branch or get accidentally cut on the arm.

Keeping up with the group, concentrating on not tripping, and being in 42 degree (Fahrenheit) weather with a just thin cardigan…yea I could not get high even if I wanted to. I was in no condition to even believe I had the luxury to slowing down just to TRY and feel the effects.

For the first 3 landmarks, the group would stop to take some cute photos, maybe pose a little. The last 2 landmarks, everyone just walked straight past it. Everyone was cold, sweaty, and tired. No one gave a shit anymore. Those last 2 landmarks took LONGER than the first 3. In the end, the maze took us TWO FUCKING HOURS. When everyone got out, we all made a beeline to the food trucks. All that walking made everyone thirsty and hungry. It was a good thing that we went in the evening, because I can’t imagine being in that maze for 2 hours getting sunburnt.

TLDR: I tried marijuana for the first time but didn’t even get high. Also corn mazes fucking suck. It’s just paying to walk and get dizzy.