The Power of Friendship

There was a poem I read the other day and it struck a chord in me.

“it’s kind of weird that
we don’t exist
in each other’s life
anymore.

it’s like nothing
has ever happened
between us

but how can it be nothing
when it was everything
at one point in time?”

This can be interpreted as letting go of a partner or significant other in your past, but because I don’t have much experience there, my initial connection with this poem was about friendship.

In some friendships, or at least in one I had, being around those people made me feel alive. Rather than spending periodic days home alone scrolling through social media or my mundane routine of school and sleep, they gave me experiences I’ve only ever seen portrayed in movies. For one full year, we were each others’ world. We spent every free time we had hanging out; either going shopping together, heading to late night movies, or planning trips across the state. When we were together, we felt free; free from our home troubles, free from any troubling relationships, and free from whatever the world might think of us. At least when we were together, we had each other. When one of us was down, we’d come together to pick that person off their feet in an instant.

Winter, we would grab bites with each other after our late night shifts. Spring, we would go on the trains and explore neighboring cities. Summer, the heat was at its peak and we would go to all sorts of amusement parks. Autumn, we had sleepovers, late night pool parties, and campfires. In our own little world, we were kings.

That is…until we started prioritizing other things first. Suddenly, when one would simply call out of work to spend their time with us, now wanted a promotion and had to take their work life more professionally. Another, thought she needed to take her school work more seriously. Me, I had the new family from overseas to take care of. And another and another and another, all have some type of reason. The lives, our responsibilities, we were running away from had caught up to us. It’s always a million different excuses that all mean the same thing. We were no longer each other’s first priority.

But, by the time we’ve realized it, we’ve been too far gone. It makes me think, maybe if we were desperate enough then we could mend back what we used to have. If we could just scramble what we had left, maybe it can all be saved. That’s not how life works.

In one way of fate, we were pushed to each other. The circumstances were just right, we were all in the same stages of life, and the stars were just aligned so perfectly. But, guess what? The earth continues to rotate and the world can’t just freeze in time. All of us will grow. Some will grow slower than others, and others may advance faster, but, in the end, we are no longer in the same stages of life. A friendship that was bonded in an instant, just as quickly, disappeared in flames.

It’s not even that we haven’t tried to meet back up again. Some don’t even respond, some go out of their way to not respond, and plans end up falling through. If we’ve ever run into each other at a grocery store, it’s like we’re back to being strangers. There’s polite greetings but everyone has their walls up, and there’s no sincerity.

It makes me think. Would it have been better to not have been friends at all? If we had just continued on in our mundane, repetitive lives and never connected with each other, then at least we wouldn’t know how much losing each other would hurt. At least, that’s the case for me. It’s been so long since I’ve seen the others. I don’t even know if they feel the same. Do they think of me as much as I think of them? Do they miss me as much as I’ve missed them?