Fireworks Erupting Inside Your Body? Learn How to Do It in This Post!

-SCHOOL DAY 2-

Today did not start off too well. I got home yesterday at 9:14 PM and was in bed by 10:30 PM. I woke up at 1 AM and couldn't fall back asleep. I stayed awake until I had to go to school again. My class starts at 10:30 AM and I left the house at 9:10 AM. I did not anticipate how much traffic there was. On the roads alone, it took an extra 30 minutes. There was a car crash that caused a jam-

(And as I was mid-typing this out the teacher let everyone leave early)

ANYWAYS, I was going to rant about how pissed I was because I ended up getting to class 30 minutes late. Traffic was stupid long and there was no parking at school. That, and 10 minutes after I get to my supposed 1 and 1/2 hour class, the teacher lets us out early. So all in all, I drove for 2 hours just to stay on campus for 10 minutes.

After class, I stopped by my club’s booth to talk to the club president about renting the park space for immersion day. I double check all the details with her and head to the city’s office to fill out the paper work (yes it will still be on a Tuesday and yea I’m going to need to skip class for it). Filling out paperwork is easy and and the man is very patient with me. I apparently made a mistake with the payment that the president later scolded me for T_T.

-SCHOOL DAY 3-

I was in charge of running the booth after my class today and the president was there with me. Honestly, after the day before, I started feeling a bit too incapable and incompetent about being an officer for the club. On the topic of payment, the president told me to invoice it at the city office. Like I know what the fuck that means. I’ve never had an office job before so these are all new skills and terms I’m being exposed to. I repeat it to her in a questioning tone hoping she’ll explain a bit more, but she just says “Yep!’ and continues looking into my dumbfounded eyes and expects me to be on my merry way. I don’t want to look like an idiot asking more questions so I leave and relay that new term over to the city office. They seemed to have understood it and did the task, but apparently I screwed it up somewhere.

The president is only 19, and that compared to my old ass makes me feel inferior. I’m not mad at her or jealous in any way. More like, I’m both intimidated and in awe of her. She’s the president of an honor’s society club and has so many internships lined up, while I’m some fat, unmotivated loser. I was scared she might be mad or annoyed at me for being so incompetent, and I was consequently on edge today when I saw that we would be together at the booth.

We made small talk at first and slowly opened up to each other. It went from talking about weather, to artists we listen to, and then to a club member that we were both annoyed at. That helped us bond so much quicker. We wanted to talk more, but then my shift was over and it was passed on to the next club member to take my spot. I took this opportunity to drive back to the city office to correct my mistake and hopefully make it back in time before the booth closes.

I’m able to catch her in time and we spend the following hour talking and hanging out. We got Starbucks together and talked mainly about ~boys~. Apparently, she started dating a fellow club officer over the summer and it’s supposed to be a secret so shhhh! Club President said she confessed to him first. On July 4th, he took her out on a trip to the mountains to see the fireworks and officially asked her to be his girlfriend then. Ahh~ what a cute love story. I equally open up to her that there’s another club officer I find super cute. Cute, but due to the lack of contact, I’m unsure if he is “dating” worthy.

My classes resume as normal and I say goodbye to Club President. She seemed to have taken a liking to me, and invited me out to go to a restaurant bar one of these Tuesdays to drink and gossip. I’m happy, but wary. I’ve talked for her for so little yet she already used the term “besties” with us. I’m not so opposed to being friends with her but after my experiences, I’ve learned that friendships that grow the fastest, fizzle out just as quickly. I equally enjoyed her company, but I’m just scared.

At the end of my classes for the day, I ran into an old classmate. I had a class with this guy once 3 years ago and I remember having a huge crush on him. All through that class, I would sneak glances at him all while wondering if he would feel the same way about me. He’s really cute and we only ever talked once but he was so nice. He’s in my class this time as well. When leaving the room, we end up exiting the door at the same time and he sparks up a conversation with me. He greets me by my name and asks how I’ve been. I’m taken aback that he remembers my name after one conversation 3 years ago and ask him about it. Old Classmate goes, “Of course I remember.”

My mind breaks. Internally, I’m screaming incoherent words and externally, I sputter out a simple, “Oh” and try not to smile like a doofus. He continues to talk to me and holds open a door for me on the way out of the building. LOOK very little men take interest in me, so when something as small as holding a door open or pushing in a chair for me happens, it sends me over the edge in love. I try not to lose my cool while I continue to swiftly carry on the conversation. Old Classmate still walks and talks with me and at one point, I cut it off and make up a lie that I need to go in the opposite direction as him. I do this because I am about to internally combust. Right after I see him leave a good distance, I walk to the parking lot and am unable to contain myself. The remaining march to my car, I’m left smiling until my cheeks hurt, giggling like a mad woman, and squealing while looking up to the heavens. As if fireworks had been set off in my body, the sun suddenly shines so much brighter, the skies suddenly look so much clearer, and the earth suddenly looks the most beautiful as its ever been.

TLDR: I’m an incompetent idiot that falls in love too easily.