Fifth-Wheeling at My First Rave: BEFORE THE RAVE

(Fucking I had to break this experience up into 2 posts because of AnonBlog's character/word limits per each post. Hehe lucky for you I'm not some loser that'll make you wait a week for part 2)

So a few days ago, I went to my first rave!

I was meeting with Club President’s friend Gretchen (like Gretchen Wieners from the Mean Girls movie / she’s also one of the girls I went out with sushi last time with Club President) at 12pm. The rave didn’t start until 7pm and even then, the main DJ wasn’t coming on until 10. Gretchen wanted to meet up in advance to get to the venue early for easier parking. From her place to the venue, it was almost 2-3 hours. The time of us waiting for the show to start would just be filled with us eating and exploring the city.

Since her house was an hour away, I was up at 7am to do my hair, nails, and makeup for the day. The girls at those raves wear sort of ~skimpy~ clothing. It’s usually a lingerie set from Victoria Secret with a shit ton of accessories or the more bold girls just wear a brightly colored Victoria Secret lace bra and panty matching set. Since this was my first one, I was a bit more shy to have my goods all out and about. From SHEIN, I bought a black and pink butterfly lingerie set. The bra was a black mesh top with an underwire and had pink butterflies sewn on to create a type of 3D effect (and to sort of cover my nipples). The bottoms were a 2 layered black mesh tutu with the additional pink butterflies sewn on and connected garters on my thighs. The tutu barely covered my ass and since it was mesh, it was pretty much see-through. The set also came with a thong, but because I’m not so confident in my ass, I wore a black lace underwear instead. So it didn’t look like just lingerie, I wore some butterfly clips in my hair, added glittery temporary butterfly tattoos all over my body and face, and had a silver body chain around my waist. Before leaving my bedroom, to mask what I’m wearing, I just slid into an oversized t-shirt and a skirt.

I arrive to her house and come to find that the plans have changed. Gretchen wants us to stop by her friend’s place where we’ll finish getting ready there, eat, pregame, and then we’d head over to the venue. This friend was also with us when we all had sushi together. Let’s call her Regina (like Regina George). I’m not very fond of her. I think even from sushi last time, I found that our personalities clashed a lot. She’s very confident, direct, and aggressive (not in a bad way). Whereas I’m just… a pushover. She reminded me of my sister in some ways, but very nice still.

Before, during sushi, it was me, Club President, Gretchen, Karen (like Karen Smith), and Regina. It was supposed to be me and Club President meeting up with Gretchen (someone we both knew) and Gretchen’s two friends (people me nor Club President have ever met). Although we planned to meet for sushi at 6, Regina didn’t get there until 8. For a while, the conversation between the four of us (me, Club President, Gretchen, and Karen) was light and fun. Pretty generic, but that’s how it usually goes when you’re meeting new people. Nothing completely crazy, but just amicable. I was getting to know Karen a bit and everyone was talking with each other while we were all waiting for Regina to come so we could start ordering. Once Regina made her fashionably late grand entrance, it was like she could command the attitude of the whole room. Gretchen and Karen ran up to her squealing and hugged her. When Regina got to the table, she gave both Club President and I a courtesy hug as well. She sat down, called the waitress over, and started immediately putting in her order. As we waited for the food, she had complete control of the conversation and talked about issues that only Gretchen and Karen knew about. It seemed more like a conversation between the 3 of them with me and Club President on the side not knowing what anyone was talking about. She was still nice, but I think I’m just too much of a meek pushover to handle such a strong personality.

The way over to Regina’s house was nice. It about an hour long car ride with a lot of in-road streets. Gretchen and I passed over a handful of small towns and we were joking how those cities would be picturesque for a murder movie to take place in. For most of the ride, we drove along the coast of one of the many rivers in the area which was a nice view to look at. We talked about generic stuff like boys and work, nothing too out there.

We got to Regina’s house and then the vibes changed again. Being unintentionally left out. They’re both close and Gretchen’s been over to Regina’s house plenty of times so she’s comfortable there, but I was awkward in a new place surrounded by new people. Regina came out to greet us in her white bathroom robe with her makeup half done. She led us to her room so we could put our stuff down, and went back into the bathroom to finish her hair and makeup where Gretchen followed in as well. It’s not like I didn’t want to go in and be included, but I was scared I’d make the bathroom too cramped. For a while they’d be in the bathroom, occasionally go back into the bedroom for something where I’d just be awkwardly standing, and then they’d go back in the bathroom. Eventually, Regina was done and they both went back in the bedroom. This is also when Regina’s mom came up and I got to meet her. This really felt like the Mean Girls movie and I just met Regina’s “cool mom”. Her mom had a full face of makeup, a lot of contour, bright blue contacts in, and long eyelashes.

Anyways, she went back down to cook and the three of us were left to get ready. Regina was trying on different outfits, I sat at the vanity doing my nails, and Gretchen sat on the bed making Kandi bracelets to wear at the rave. This is also when I learn that Regina isn’t embarrassed at all and changes in front of everyone. It was a big shock to me when I looked up at the vanity mirror and saw bare tits staring back at me. The rest of the time I stayed pretty much quiet to myself unless I was being directly talked to. I’d try to give my opinions on things but I don’t know how seriously those were taken. Even though I was the oldest, this felt very much like “little sister trying to hang out with her older sister’s cool friends”. Again it’s not like they were mean in any way. When it was time for me to start getting fully dressed up, they complimented me on my fit and tattoos. They really were nice, but it was just my personality that closed everyone else off.

After a while, we go out to buy some food to eat and settle for Subways. As we’re bringing it back to Regina’s place, Gretchen gets a notification that her boyfriend (not really ‘boyfriend’ but it’s kinda messy where they’re at right now so we’ll just say ‘boyfriend’ for the sake of it) is almost to Regina’s house. At the same time, Regina also says that her boyfriend is a few minutes away. When we get back, both guys also arrive around the same time. Gretchen and her boyfriend go out to the store to buy drinks, while Regina and her boyfriend both go downstairs to eat with her family. Regina also invites me down, but she sees how terrified I am of their dog so she just leaves me to eat alone in her room. I felt so lonely eating by myself in that room. I didn’t even want to go to the rave anymore. Honestly I did this to myself. If only I told other people how I felt or if I tried to interact with everyone more, then this wouldn’t be a problem. All my woes now are self-inflicted. At first, Gretchen told me she’d take me out to my first rave and it’d be just me and her together, but now it’s starting to feel like I’m someone that’s just tagging along while she goes hanging out with her friends. Back then, Gretchen didn’t have a boyfriend yet and Regina confirmed she wasn’t going, so that’s why I agreed to going to the rave, but after a month, plans tend to not stay the same.

By the time Gretchen and her boyfriend get back, everyone’s finished eating and we’re all reconvening in Regina’s room. Slowly it begins to separate. Regina is in her room with her boyfriend, and Gretchen is in the guest room right next door with ~her~ boyfriend. I get the idea that both couples want some alone time so I’m left by myself in the hallway. I don’t want to make them feel guilty for leaving me alone so I distract myself by pretending to look at the house decorations or I’d just go in the bathroom and wash my hands for no reason. It lasts for about 10 minutes before everyone is finally done and ready to leave. Everyone’s packing up to go and before we head out, Regina offers some shrooms and Adderall. Gretchen took a pill but I decline to both since I’m a goody-two-shoes that has barely even done weed.

Gretchen and I had talked before that we were both scared of driving in the city, especially downtown, but I told her I could muster up the courage and drive anyway. Lucky for us, Gretchen’s boyfriend heard about our worries and offered to drive us there and take us back when it’s done. The week prior to the rave, she told me he was going to go with us, but I guess that week they also ended up fighting and he ended up selling his ticket, but now at the end of the week, they’ve made up like everything’s okay. Regina and her boyfriend get wind of what’s going on and try to convince him to go to the rave. He tries looking up tickets, but all of them are over $200 when the original presale tickets were only $100. Since it was now 6pm and the show starts at 7pm, we all start making our way to the venue; Regina with her boyfriend in one car and Gretchen, her boyfriend, and me in another car. Before leaving I was still feeling a bit left out and anxious, so I pull Gretchen aside and tell her that I wouldn’t mind selling my ticket to her boyfriend so they could go together. She insists on wanting to take me out to my first rave and pulls in Regina. I try to mask my loneliness as trying to let Gretchen have some alone time with her boyfriend, but they both insist on wanting me there, so to the rave I go.

In the car, I’m left out again. It’s another 1 hour car ride to the venue. Gretchen does check up on me in the back seat every 15 minutes but it’s just for a simple comment or two. It's also during the ride that Gretchen's boyfriend makes the decision to buy a ticket to go with us. Most of the ride there is just me in the back seat watching them hold hands, kiss, pat each other on the head, and I’d ever so slightly hear them talking. They offer me a beer and I take up that offer so quickly. After an hour, we’re close to the venue, but the traffic was insane. There’s almost no parking, and every other parking garage was upselling their prices through the roof. We’re circling around the block looking for a spot to park, but Gretchen needs to go pee. Her boyfriend drops us off at a random building while he looks for parking. The building doesn’t have a bathroom, so now we’re running behind her boyfriend’s car and trying to track him on the Find My app. It leads us to a parking garage down the street that luckily also had a porta-potty. We go tinkle and meet her boyfriend 2 floors up. There, we pregame some soju bottles and do one last outfit check.

Her boyfriend is nice. We both don’t seem to talk much. As we’re walking to the venue, we’re all holding hands together to keep each other safe. We’re 2 half naked girls and 1 guy walking in the city at 8 at night where the streets were lined up with homeless people and crack addicts. As I’m walking with them, I’m feeling less left out. Both of them talk to me and the boyfriend actually does a nice job of trying to reassure my anxiety.