Calm Before the Storm (Part 1)

(Whhaaaaaa I'm so glad AnonBlogs is back! I went on a mini-trip right before the website went down so I've just kept my diary entries on my notes app. Hope everyone has been doing well though! This post is one of the entries I've pre-written and will be about my trip last week. Oh, and also, the website for my email, DNMX, has been down for about a week now too, so if anyone has emailed me recently, I haven't seen it.)

-Back to your regularly scheduled program-

Ahhh I’m so sorry for leaving you guys hanging for a few days. I just came back from a weekend trip with Pretty. We left on Friday and I didn’t bring my laptop so I couldn’t write anything down. A LOT happened. Let’s start off with baby steps. As always, there’s good and bad news, but let’s just put the bad news to the side first.

So, this weekend, me and my friend went to an anime convention! It was a few towns away so we ended up booking a hotel room next to the convention center. We’ve been on this trip before back in January, but we liked it so much we wanted to do it again for their summer convention. On the first day, I dressed up as Cinnamoroll (from Sanrio) and my friend was Misa Amane (from Death Note). Since we booked our hotel with the convention, we were eligible for VIP tickets (they’re really not anything special, it just means you can get into the convention a bit earlier). The day was fun, and the juicy part happens at night!~

For this trip, we weren’t solely focused on the convention. The location of our hotel was smack dab in the heart of the city with bars and clubs found left and right. With a quick outfit change, we were off into the young night. This was our first time ever going to a club and we were both terrified out of our minds. I was more scared of running into someone from school, but anyways. We got to the club when it just started opening up, so there was barely any other people. A bit awkward and full of jitters, so I downed 2 or 3 drinks in an instant. Some people had filled the room, but not enough. Pretty and I snuck off into the bathroom to debrief since the music was so loud. By the time we came back, the bar was packed…and I went on to order another drink. I was so stiff and awkward and oh, is it about now that I should reveal my inabilities to fucking dance? I felt like a complete fish out of water. At least my friend can get into the groove a bit, but I was 1 more drink away from just settling on doing the sprinkler (at this point I was probably better off doing the renegade or something). Also, apparently, at the club, Fridays are their “Latin Night”, and that means it was full of reggaeton type music. That’s completely fine, it just means that I stuck out as a stiff sore thumb even more.

We’re in a couple more drinks and my friend needs to go to the bathroom again (she has the tiniest bladder I swear). A man looking no younger than 46 years old in a business suit comes up to me and introduces me to his friend. I give a smile only veterans in the customer service industry can acquire and am desperately searching the crowd for my friend. The man in the business suit asked about Pretty and seems to have taken a liking to her. I use that an excuse to make my exit to go find Pretty and was able to run into the bathroom with her. I try to explain my situation to her and she tells me I have 100% fear reflected in my eyes. We make the decision that clubs aren’t for us and plan to leave. As we’re leaving, we can’t find the men anymore and take that as a sign to book it to another bar.

The bar we end up going to is about block away. It was waaaayy more our vibe. It was a bar/arcade so it was super fun. They even had a mini golf game set outside! Pretty is really good at shooting games so she went wild at that, and my heels were killing me so I took a seat at one of the other games. With some more drinks in us, Pretty needed to go in the bathroom (AGAIN?). We touched up our makeup a bit and on the way out, she asked me, “How do I look?”

Before I could reply, a man and his friend walking to the men’s bathroom shouts, “You look good!”

We cross paths for a split second as they’re trying to go in and we’re leaving. After we double check that they’re far enough, my friend squeals to me, “Agh girl don’t you think he was sooo cute?” He honestly was. Tall, built white guy. Not too bad. But, we think nothing more of it and go back to playing games. When I was younger, I was really good at Street Fighter, so I tried my luck again but the machine just ate up my coins without even letting me play. Well fuck. I try at Tetris and I’m just no good when drunk (honestly I don’t think drunk or sober would make much of a difference). I give up on my luck and we take a seat at the bar for, yes, another drink. While looking at the menu, we come to realize we are coincidentally sitting next to the guy and his friend from before. The seating chart goes me —> Pretty —> man —> man’s friend at the edge of the bar. I urge Pretty to talk to him since she thinks he’s cute, but she’s too shy. Luckily, he makes the first move instead.

I instantly swivel my seat over to the left to give them privacy. A seat down from my left is 2 other guys that were still in cosplay from the convention (supposedly). I make eye contact with one of the guys and motion if I can take a menu thats close to them. I try to busy myself by going through the drinks and dishes, but with the amount of alcohol I’ve had, I think I was just staring at the letters and not even comprehending them. I give up and slam the menu down. Pretty and the guy are still going at it so I’m just dazing off into space. At one point, I think because my full body language was towards the two men, they came up to me to say something. I was too drunk to understand (I think it was something along the lines of “are you okay”) so I just explain that I’m trying to give my friend (that’s behind me) some privacy with a man. They laugh and leave me to it before going to play some games.

Eventually, Pretty and the guy leave to test out their ‘competitiveness’ on some arcade games. Right when they left, me and his friend made eye contact, immediately scooted closer, and gossiped about the two lovebirds. Apparently, they had seen us at the club, the guy already thought my friend was cute when he saw her in the club, and we coincidentally met again at this bar. Let’s give these men some names so we don’t get confused. The man I’m talking to is Hubby, and the man Pretty is talking to is Baby Daddy. I tell Hubby about my experience with the guy in the business suit from before and he tells me that he saw Business Suit Guy going around the club and hitting on ALL the girls. …WELP shoulda seen that coming. We talk more and he’s a seriously funny guy. Hubby is hitting all the points and we’re on the same wave length with our personalities.

Pretty and Baby Daddy come back from their games, and the whole night, the four of us keep talking and playing arcade games. It does come to a halt for me at one point however when Hubby joked about us having kids. Yep. Apparently, we got married and had 4 daughters. I went along with the joke because yes I know it is just a joke, but that still scared me. I tried joking that it was 4 ADOPTED daughters, but no, he was very adamant on having biological children (that came at the expense of me pushing those bitches out of my own pussy). It wasn’t until they were walking us back to our hotel that I noticed how drunk Hubby was. I was wearing painful heels so it was understandable that I was wobbling a bit, but Hubby had sneakers on and could barely walk in a straight line. As we got to the hotel, Pretty and Baby Daddy start making out and that is leaving me and Hubby to just…talk? It wasn’t until now that I realized he was actually into me. This whole time (minus the time when he made the joke about being married and having kids) I thought we were only talking because our friends left us by ourselves. For all I knew, he could’ve had a girlfriend and was just out with his friend to help Baby Daddy find a girl. Pretty and Baby Daddy were going at it and this made Hubby get into the mood of wanting to do it too.

My entire life, I thought I could be that girl. I thought I was that girl. The type thats willing to do one night stands and hook up with any guy she finds, but I guess that night proved me wrong. Maybe it was the fear of the future? Yes, jokes are jokes but him continually joking about marriage and kids to someone who wants to stay forever alone was very off-putting. Maybe to another girl that was more sane than I, it would’ve worked, but I fear commitment too much. I tried keep the whole conversation light and swerved away when it was getting too intimate. I kept glancing to see if Pretty and Baby Daddy were going to be done anytime soon, but damn they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. I didn’t want to rush her since, you know, ‘girl code’ and wanted her to at least have a nice night.

Eventually they had to let go and everyone exchanged numbers. Pretty was smitten and I was freaked out. We started off on the same night but had very different endings.

After that day, I came to the conclusion that I love girls supporting girls. Not just me supporting my friend, but throughout the whole day I got tons of compliments from other women. In the day, it would be about my costume at the con, and at night, it would be about my dress at the bars/club. Getting a compliment from other women just feels so sincere with no strings attached and it instantly warms my heart.

TLDR: I thought I was a whore, but turns out I’m just a pathetic bitch with issues.