Office Life: Episode 1 - Lunch Fiascos
I still can’t believe I got this job. Me? Over all the other candidates? I’ve never had any internship. I have absolutely ZERO experience in the field. I wonder how long it’ll take for my first mistake to surface. I wonder how long it’d take for them to fire me.
I went to the office for the first time this week. The company requires us to show up at least twice a week. It’s huge! And very clean. We’re on the 10th floor of the building, and get free access to the fourth floor gym (which is also ginormous and clean). I guess I can cancel my newly made gym membership then and just shower here. There were 4 other new hires alongside me. 3 boys and 1 girl. The girl seems a lot older. Maybe 40? The other men are my age, give or take ~2 years. Hehe as expected, I already have a crush on someone in the office. I love having crushes on people. It gives me a reason to look after myself more. He’s one of the new hires. I don’t think he likes me, but is just a nice guy. Obviously he probably doesn’t have any crush on me because we’ve only seen each other twice. I’m just extra. Though eventually, I don’t think he would ever like me because he seems too nice and very Christian, which contrasts the atheist cold-hearted me.
The office has so many nice amenities. The bathroom is clean and even had lotion by the sinks. They have an ice machine in the lunch room which is AMAZING. I love ice. I hate room-temperature drinks. There 3 refrigerators; one for our lunches/food, and 2 constantly stocked to the BRIM with all sorts of FREE waters, sodas, and caffeinated-drinks. There’s also 2 snack bars with FREE snacks/chips/fruit gummies. Also, I learned how to use a Keurig. I don’t drink much coffee nor am I a tea person, so it was something that never piqued my interest. I only got curious when I saw one of my coworkers using it with such ease. I gave it a go. With what? A Swiss Miss hot coco pod. XD
On the first day there, we were still in training and onboarding. The company allocated a 90 minute lunch for us so we could eat and mingle with the other office workers. I HATED THAT. I hate eating in front of new people and I HATE talking to new people, especially if they’re on a completely different scale than me. Who was there? Us, some HR people, AND LIKE 7 COMPANY PARTNERS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT ‘PARTNERS’ ARE IN A BUSINESS SENSE? They’re basically the closest thing to the CEO (at least that's how it is in my head). Do you know that feeling when you’re eating at a restaurant and a waiter comes by to ask you how the food is, but your cheeks are stuffed full of food, so you need to do the awkward dance of signaling that you can’t talk and that everything is okay? I HATE THAT. When I’m eating with someone I’ve barely known, I take small bites to avoid that confrontation, because I know we’re going to talk in the middle of our meal, and I hate being caught off guard and looking ugly with food in my mouth. It was like that when I was first getting to know Club President, and still like that when I go out with Metal. I only have a select handful of people I’m comfortable eating around and I absolutely WON’T be comfortable around company PARTNERS. So what did I do? That day, the company provided lunch for us. We got to choose between salads, sandwiches, and wraps. Each dish also came along with a side of potato chips. As everyone else was chowing down, I just munched on my chips. I wasn’t planning to eat, but also realized I would look even MORE out of place if I was the only one not eating at all. At least chips are small, and if I got asked a question, I can quickly shove the chip to one side of my cheek and still calmly respond.
Other than that, the first day in office went by okay. ALSO WHAT THE FUCK IS ‘BUSINESS CASUAL’? Guys are so lucky. All they need is a nice button down or a polo with work pants. What about the girls? I’m too pretty to be stuck in a polo. I like wearing my skirts, shorts, and camis. Where do I start? A blazer? I’ll look so silly in one. It’ll look so obviously out of place on me. So far, I’ve managed to get by with my 2 button ups, but after my 2 days in office, I’m running out of clothes for work.
On the second day, I thoughtlessly believed the company would be buying us lunch again (and continuing to do so until our training/onboarding was over) but I was proven wrong. In the 3 cubicles behind me, I heard the 3 male new hires talking about getting lunch together. I unconsciously turned my head that way when I heard it, but once I made eye contact with one of them, I whipped my head back to my computer screens. I didn’t want to intrude and make him feel the need to extend the invite to me as well. When lunch time came around, I left first. Again, I felt like if I stayed around and heard them talk about their plans, they’d feel bad and extend an invitation to me out of pity/politeness, so I figured I’d do them a favor and be the first to leave to not make it awkward. Shortly after I left to the lobby, the other girl came down, too. We talked a little about how we heard the boys talking and she also figured that the lunch plan was a “bros thing”. She invited to go out and eat with me, but again, I don’t like eating in front of new people, so I declined and gave an excuse of want to explore the other floors in the building. Realistically, I wanted to go back to my cubicle and wait for the ever-so long hour of lunch to come to an end.
As I was waiting for the elevator, the doors opened and revealed some of the other people from the office. They called out to me, “Lia? Why are you down here? The boys are still upstairs waiting for you and the other girl.” Huh. HUUUUUUHHHH? Was I wrong? I was wrong. Well. Do I care? Nope. Because realistically, even if I knew they wanted to invite me, I feel like I would’ve declined anyways. I still try making it up to the 10th floor to meet them and resolve the misunderstanding, but by the time I got there, they were gone. I cut my losses and fill the time playing Minesweeper and Sudoku. When the boys get back, the other girl was there with them, I guess she was lucky enough to run into the down in the lobby and go for lunch. Anyways, I laugh it off when they ask me.
I wonder how next week will do. Do you think they’ll try to invite me out again? Or maybe they’re sick of my odd ways and don’t want to get close to me anymore. If I do get another invite, should I say yes? I don’t know.
TLDR: Lunch is important. Don’t skip it.