Family Ties

I haven’t written about my family situation in a while. Much has changed and much has stayed the same. I’m not sure if one of my previous posts have mentioned it, but my uncle has gone back to Vietnam for vacation already. After I came back, he threw a fit saying he wanted to go too. He has almost no money since all the money he collected over previous jobs has just gone to alcohol and cigarettes, but as loving as my mother is, she is equally spineless and gave in to her older bother. Although we were on vacation for 5 weeks, he’s in Vietnam for 3 months. He left last month in May and is coming back late August. This also meant he dumped his daughter on me. Not my dad, because my dad openly hates taking care of my cousin, just me. If my uncle leaves her to my dad, my dad’s only concern is giving her “food” (he’ll throw a packet of ramen at her) and that’s it. Understandably since that’s not even his kid and he’s being thrust upon this responsibility. My uncle is also aware of it, so he gives his daughter for me to look over.

Before my uncle left, I told him that if he’s leaving her for so long, she’s going to need money for food since I’m out of a job and regardless would NOT be willing to spend my money on her without compensation. Even though it sounds like a lot, I told him he’s going to at LEAST leave her $500 for 3 months of food. Of course when she’s at school, then she gets free lunches but guess what, it’s summer break so we’re gonna need money to feed her all 3 meals of the day. He rejected the idea immediately and just left her $80. The cheapest packet of ramen out there is around $0.40. Even just eating that for 3 meals a day for 3 months, she’ll still be starving a month and a half. Good thing her birthday just passed. Some other family members gave her enough pocket change to last a while longer.

My mom is already busy on the weekdays to watch her. She still stays in another town on those days to care for my still sick family member and brings the deaf auntie with her. My deaf aunt still is a picky eater and can’t stand eating leftovers. My mom takes my aunt with her so while she’s caring and cooking for the sick family member, my aunt can also eat that food. My mom just comes home on weekends to rest.

I’m out of a job so my mom pays me to watch my cousin. I normally hate that task but I need the money. Honestly it’s not a lot, but money is money. $175 per month. Since I was informed my cousin was only receiving $80, before summer school started, I enrolled her into summer school. She needs the extra academic support, and lucky for us they proved free lunches. It’s a 3 week program that functions like normal school hours. When she gets home from the bus, I give her an hour to rest and then I bring her over to the library. We stay at the library till closing and work on math and reading. I’m trying to teach her addition/subtraction/multiplication of negative numbers. She finds it confusing and although is making mistakes, she’s slowly getting the hang of it. When I have her read to me, I try and fix her pronunciation so her accent will go away. After the library, we go to the park for a good hour. If anything this also helps me be more active but more honestly I sprawl out a blanket on the grass and watch her play from afar. I push her to play with the other kids. I don’t need her to build a lifelong friendship in front of my eyes, I just want her to practice the English we just learned. By the time she’s drawn out and tired to the bone, I take her out to a meal. I let her pick what she wants to eat and we go halfsies on the price. That completes my whole day with her and it repeats up until the weekend when we both can get some rest.

My sister has been odd lately. As much as I hate her, I won’t deny that she’s better than me at a lot. I’m not hating her out of jealousy. There’s other reasons, but those reasons don’t cloud my judgement and I can still give credit where credit’s due. She recently got a promotion. She told my mom she’s trying to become a better daughter by taking my parents out. Oddly, she’s been trying to build up a connection with me again. Starting to buy stuff for me, pressuring/convincing me to go out to the outings with her, trying to talk to me in a caring tone… I find it disturbing. Why? Why does she want a connection again? When we were younger all she did was push me out. I always wanted the love and approval from her but was instead met with a bitch. “Go away.” “Don’t talk to me.” “Shut up.” So why now? Anytime she’s ever begun to act nicely, she always needed something and once she got what she wanted, she’d go back to her cold ways. When our feud was at its peak 2 years ago, she even told our mother that she no longer considers me her sister. I’m okay with all of that. It’s better for me not to have her in my life because it’s one less headache, but why does she suddenly change her mind? Ever since the family vacation, she’s been trying to get closer and I just find it so weird.

Of course there are moments when she does revert back to her old self. When the topic of my cousin comes up, she believes my mother and I are too hard on her. She yells at us, criticizes, and degrades our methods. It’s true we are, but it’s because we need to be hard on her. After my mom eventually dies, no one’s going to be there for my cousin and her dad. I’m selfish so I don’t want to take them in, my dad doesn’t like them either, and my sister says she cares for them but isn’t there when they need her (like when they got in the car accident and my sister was all talk no action). When that time comes, my cousin needs to be self-sufficient to care for herself and her dad. She can’t do that in America if she can’t speak English, can’t form good study habits, and lack basic grooming traits. Her dad has issues with his hands and feet which leave him partially disabled and difficult to find any job. My sister argues that too much pressure isn’t good for my cousin. I do agree with her so that’s why I try playing with my cousin and taking her out to eat. Also I think, if my sister has too much to criticize, she can go ahead and take care of my cousin then. No need to backtrack and say that she has work. If she really hates how we do things, she can take matters into her own hands and hire a nanny.

However, even after yelling, the next week or so, she’ll visit again and try to cozy up to me again.

I don’t know. These past 2 months since coming back from Vietnam has been odd in general.