Drugs are Cool: Come experience a high with me!!!

Late evening Sunday around 5:45pm, my sister hits me up. Her boyfriend is feeling sick and she has extra tickets to a rave. She proposed that either I can find a friend that wants to go watch the show too, or she could go with me.

In the beginning of my blog, I wrote out about how much I hated her, the way she treated me, the way my parents treated her compared to me, etc… There was a long period of time when I didn’t talk to her or wouldn’t leave my room if she came home for the weekend, just so I wouldn’t have to see her face. I don’t forgive her, but I believe after our family vacation to Vietnam, a bit of the resentment died down. This whole year, she spent working on growing our sisterly bond back. It’s not like we were close or anything before this anyways, but she put in plenty of effort. I declined a lot of it, but it was evident to me that she was putting in so much more effort to even be around me more than normal (asking about life, work, friends). When we were kids, she’d push me out and bully me. Now, she keeps trying to get closer. I believe I mentioned before that I was even skeptical of everything. Is she trying to get close because she needs a favor? Is she nice because she wants something? She’d invite me out to sleepover at her apartment, go to the beach with her boyfriend, or to go eat out with her. I declinied most of it. The only times I really said yes was when she’d persistently ask or my mother would force me to come along. And yet, truthfully, when she asked if I wanted to go with her….I felt happy. And said yes right away.

The rave began at 8pm, but I live 2 hours from her, as well as still needing to shower, do makeup, do hair, and put together a cute last minute outfit, but it was okay since the main performer didn’t come on until 10:30pm. I rushed was fast as I could, with excitement building up in my stomach. When I responded to her, I even let out all of my true feelings, “I WANNA GO W U. THIS WAS ALWAYS MY CHILDHOOD DREAM. LEMME HAVE THIS ONE.” I was giddy to believe I could have a good night out with MY sister.

Made it to her place at 9:30 and thats when she pulled out a small ziplock baggie with a pill. “Wanna roll? I can babysit you tonight.” I used to pride myself on never touching drugs and saying that I’d want to stay away from it since I seem to have an addictive mindset. If I eat something I like, I hoard all of it and munch on all of it till I’m sick of it. When I play card games (with fake money), I get addicted to the rush of gambling. But, not even just because she offered, this whole year, I’ve been more lax with myself. Last year I tried weed for the first time at the corn maze, at each rave so far my friends keep feeding me more weed, and even before I tried weed, I did Adderall (but that was just to focus and study for college exams) a few years ago. So, I took the free pill, popped it in, and downed it with alcohol. I’m only in my 20s once right?

We rushed to the venue and had fun the whole night! You know what’s not fun? The molly hit AFTER the set. I was back at my sister’s apartment when the effects kicked in. I was already so stimulated from the rave but now I was even MORE stimulated. To try and destimulate myself, I kept looking and locking in on her ceiling. Every crevice of every line of the ceiling was just filling my thoughts. My sister offered to put on a TV show or a recording of another set so I can ride it out, but I declined saying to wanted to rest and not be overstimulated. I hated looking over to her to answer her questions because her apartment is so messy and that’s all my eyes would focus on it if I peered away from the ceiling. There’s potted plants scattered around one corner and a full stack of dirty dishes in the sink. My pupils got so big I was looking at everything and nothing all at the same time.

My jaw started smacking. I didn’t notice until my sister pointed it out and told me to snack on Hi-Chews. You know how some people either have pacifiers, gum, or lollipops at a rave? That’s because they’re rolling and their jaws are beginning to clench. I knew about that, but forgot about it that night till it happened to me. In her bag of 75 Hi-Chews, I went through at least 50 of them that night.

After holding out for an hour, the first wave went away. I started talking more, but since my sister and her boyfriend were in their room, I just began talking to myself. You know, I’m such a funny person. It’s my own jokes yet I still crack up at them. I was laughing too much when my sister came out to tell me to quiet down since her boyfriend was still feeling sick. On the couch bored and zooted, I popped in my headphones to listen to music…which then turned into a 3 hour solo concert. I wasn’t belting out the lyrics or anything, but the other 2 could definitely hear me from their rooms. I had my headphones in so I couldn’t hear how I actually sounded, but in my head, I thought I was crushing it. I was so happy, I took out her boyfriend’s iPad to record myself singing.

Every now and then, I’d run back and forth to the bathroom because I wanted to check out my eyes. They were so big and black like a cute cat. Eventually, I was getting too hot, so I left the living room couch to lay down on the cold floors. When I was getting tired, I’d try to sleep on the sofa, but just when I was drifting off, my jaw would brutally clench itself and I’d jolt back awake. That entire night, I slept maybe 30 minutes before I had to clock in for work. YES I STILL HAD TO GO TO WORK THAT MORNING.

Luckily, I work hybrid, and that day, I worked from home. Also luckily, my sister told me to prepare comfortable clothes to change into as well as my work laptop just in case. In the beginning, she did offer to let me sleepover but I declined. Sure I was excited to go raving with her, but again, I’m not THAT fond of her. I guess it ended up working out in the end.

That entire Monday, I was so out of it. My job is to look at numbers and deal with some clients, and work on some teams, blah blah blah, but I couldn’t focus on anything. Usually, I can multitask very effortlessly, but that morning, I couldn’t do anything. A working paper that was only supposed to take me 2 hours, took me 5 hours. Thank god I still have the excuse of being a ‘new employee’. I couldn’t concentrate on anything and would forget simple details so quickly. I tried leaving jazz music on to soothe myself while I worked, but that just made multitasking even harder. The work day concluded and finally, I could let my tired brain rest. After a couple snoozes, I was able to go home without any hitches.

TLDR: you should try drugs, they’re so fun.