Don’t Plan Ahead: A Procrastinator's Guide
Who do you think you are? You think you can outsmart the universe by being well prepared? You think the universe will be more forgiving if you’re such a “good person”? SPOILER ALERT: NO! So, I’m sure all are aware of my move that’s coming up in a week or two. Initially, my dad and I were going to move out into our own condo, then the plan switched when my dad didn’t have enough money for his share of the rent. Then, the plan was to rent a room from some strangers in the city for $600 a month. I planned for this 2-3 months in advance and two weeks before everything is about to begin, the plan decides to turn me on my head all over again.
Big shocker. As we grow up, so does everyone around us. While we’re growing up healthier, the older folk just get older and sicker. Last month, I met one of my cousins in the hospital. At that point in time, she was just some old lady I’ve never met before in my life. There wasn’t any of the, “Oh look how big you’ve grown!” Nope. This was my first time meeting her and in such a pitiful state. Her backstory is pretty interesting. Let’s call her Evelyn. Evelyn was born in the third world country of Vietnam and stayed there for most of her life in poverty. She was able to crawl out of that hole and hit it big! She married a rich, old white man. He died VERY soon after and left her all this inheritance money. Safe to say, I think she’s a millionaire. At this point, she already has 3 kids that are all grown up (older than me). 2 daughters which are (I think) homeless and very addicted to gambling. The other is a well-educated son that helps her manage all her finances. Even to her children, Evelyn has never told anyone exactly how much money she has, but has stated she can comfortably give each of her children $200,000 and still live lavishly. But guess what? The universe spares no one. Shortly after, she was stricken by illness after illness. She’s not yet bedridden, but requires a medical walker to take her steps. Her two daughters are too fixated on gambling to care for their mother, and the son has his own job and family to look after. The best the son could do was find a house for her (approximately 30 minutes away from his own place) to move into. It’s a 5 bed 3 bathroom gargantuan home in the middle of a white-dense population suburb all for one 60 year old woman to live by herself.
Evelyn’s new home is an 8 minute drive from my house. She’s on the more gentrified side, while we live in the “ghetto” part of the city. For the past month she’s been calling my mom over to visit her either at home or at the hospital because she gets lonely living by herself. Some weekends my mom would make home-cooked food and bring it over for her to eat. Evelyn’s mostly been eating takeout and can’t drive due to her sickness. If she needs to go to any doctor’s appointments, she tells her son, and he orders an Uber for her.
Where do I fit into this equation? Recently, she’s been hinting at my mom, “I wish there was someone here that could take care of me.” Evelyn listed out the criteria, “If someone could take care of me, I’d let them live in my house for free and PAY them $2000 a month to take me to my doctors appointments and to just talk with me.” On the weekdays, my mom is already busy taking care of ANOTHER sick family member cities away, so she’s unavailable. Obviously Evelyn wants my mom to do it, but instead, my mom turns her head to me.
“Lia, you can do it, can’t you? Your job only asks you to be in office 2 days a week, right?” My mom and my sister have a field day with this and start to concoct their own plan without hearing my own inputs. Although I gave the deposit for the other place already, I can just cancel the agreement and let them keep that money. When I’m working in the big city, I have plenty other distant family members in the area that’d be more than happy to let me rent from their place (and for cheaper than $600 too), so I can just rent a room from them. And on the days I work from home, I can come back up to where Evelyn is a take care of her.
What do I think of this? I’m selfish. I hate taking care of other people. The reason why I wanted to move out on my own (and not with the aforementioned distant family members) is because then I can finally think for myself. If I live with distant family members, when I come home, they’re going to want to talk and are more open to asking me for favors. If I live with strangers, I don’t need to care about who they are or what they want and I can drop any pretenses. Also, taking care of Evelyn will just be exactly like how I’m taking care of my cousin, uncle, and aunt at home right now. I’m taking them to doctor appointments, dentists, and buying food for them. I guess the only upside is that I’m getting paid this time and already have all the experience. But, the whole point of me moving out was to finally be free from all that, and finally able to be selfish and live for myself.
What will I do? I’m not a complete idiot. $2000 is a lot of money. It doesn’t matter what I like or hate. Money can’t be earned living a happy life. If everyone truly just lived as they wished, the whole world would crumble. So, through bitter gritting teeth, I took the job (kind of). I’ve already lost the deposit and made a new contract with the distant family for their room. My mom has yet to update Evelyn. This makes me slightly scared. What if Evelyn backtracks and says to my mom, “I only meant that for you. Your daughter doesn’t even know how to cook.” Then I would’ve lost my deposit for nothing and now I’m living with some type of goddamn family members again, which is what I was avoiding in the first place.
TLDR: Being prepared does you no good. Just procrastinate. You’ll be fucked either way.